Jodi Macaluso, MA, LCPC, CADC

Through-out the span of life we experience many emotional developmental milestones. What are some examples are your emotional developmental milestones? Some general examples are being picked for a sports team, first love, first heart-break, graduation from high school and loss.

We may find ourselves comparing or competing with others’ perceived accomplishments or feeling disappointed with ourselves for “falling behind” with our milestones. This disappointment can be managed by redefining how we connect to others. The good news is we can choose to change the way we relate to others. We do have a choice in learning new skills.

Relational skills can be relearned at any time. Unmet expectations can result in depression, anxiety, physical stress and unsatisfying relationships. Let’s get started by looking at letting go of the need to control.

First, examples from your own life of being controlling or being controlled needs to be identified.

Take a moment to review the following for yourself:

Once we can identify our controlling needs, we can begin to change our view by implementing acceptance into our thinking. Learning to let go of control and replace with acceptance is a pathway to peace and the first step of improving the quality of your relationships with others and yourself.

The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.